Subtitles by explosiveskull Sync by GoldenBeard
Stand up straight.
Meant to be quiet.
- Liam! Liam! - Ba-a-a!
- Sh-sh-sh!
- Hi! - What are you doing?
Ba-a-a!
OK, everyone into your position.
I'm missing a sheep and an angel.
Has anyone...
Oh, there you are.
Liam, Lacey.
Do you wanna come join us?
Not really.
But we need you.
What?
Do you know how we come to church once a year?
- Do you wanna come every Sunday? - No!
Sh-sh-sh! OK.
We have to make tonight count.
- Go make me proud. - OK.
Quiet!
- Come on, where's your Christmas spirit, Liam? - Quiet!
Quiet!
Hey, you guys. You guys.
Good kids...
get better gifts.
Wait a minute. You did not just do that.
I did. You noticed that, didn't you?
- I did it because it works. - That's not fair.
- It worked on you for years. - You didn't do it to me.
Always, always.
Look, we're home!
What?
What the...
Oh, my God.
Mom. Mom. No. Don't!
Oh, my God. I can't believe it.
Hi, Mom.
Oh, let me see you. Is it you?
Is that Ben?
Come on. Look.
- It's Ben. - Yeah, it is Ben.
Take hold of my hand. Come on. Hurry!
Oh, my God. I was just...
I was truly just wondering.
Just wondering what if.
Ben!
Don't let go.
So, my roommate, Timmy, has two years,
and is, like, a recovery rockstar.
And he offers me a free ride.
And I was like, "Yeah, I'm down."
But I'm thinkin', there's no way my sponsor's gonna go for this.
But he did?
But he did because that's how good I'm doing.
Wow, honey.
So, Timmy's mom and dad and his little brother pick us up.
I'm squeezed in the middle.
They're very Christian.
They're all super healthy.
They don't even drink caffeine.
Great.
Mom, Ben is feeding Ponce.
Oh, yeah. Guilty.
Bread is bad for his teeth.
I think a little bit is OK, honey.
OK. Go on.
OK, so we're, like, 10 minutes into the ride,
and suddenly there's this smell
that just hangs there.
And it's a...
And just when it starts to clear,
another cloud of... of stink is unleashed.
- Wait, it's human? - Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my God. - It was the silent but deadly kind.
Oh, my God.
That's the worst kind.
This is great. So great.
You know, Ponce,
all of us in the kitchen.
You happy.
Zip me, please.
Oh, you got one on.
Good job. OK.
Leave these on.
- OK? All right. - Bye!
- Be smart. - Bye!
All right.
- Then what happened? - OK, so,
we're trapped in the back and the farts just keep on coming.
Front door.
And so, I'm thinking, surely someone is gonna say sorry.
- Or excuse me... - Excuse me. Yes.
Or, like, maybe crack a window.
But, no, they act like nothing is wrong.
Oh, my God.
So, I just said,
"You know, you can let me out here."
Mom?
It's not that funny.
But it is.
So, I just hiked the rest of the way home.
You didn't!
Oh, they did it again. Ugh.
- Rascals. - All right. You're gonna regret this.
Oh, go get 'em.
The big brother.
Aah!
Mom? Mom?
Did you see? He's gained some weight and...
he's got the sparkle back in his eyes.
He's clearly doing better.
Then why are you hiding everything?
You know why.
Sad. Having to hide.
Well, I would do the same for you.
But you'll never have to.
Sweetie, I've got a very good feeling about this.
Well, I don't.
Listen. This time will be different. You'll see.
It will.
Mom?
Why is he here anyway?
Weren't we supposed to go visit him tomorrow?
OK, you need to go watch him.
No.
No, he'll think I'm spying.
No, then just, uh, film him on your phone then.
Hmm?
Are you serious?
Yes, Ivy.
Now.
- Yeah? - I want hot chocolate.
Go, go, go!
What are you doing?
I'm making a video of holiday highlights.
- Run! - No, hurry!
Hurry, hurry!
Come here, boy!
Come on, Ponce!
Let's go!
Don't do that.
No...
What about Ivy?
Neal?
I got it under control.
Ivy called, texted. Why didn't you?
Hey, Neal.
Hey, Ben.
How about 15 extra minutes of screen time starting right now?
Yay!
We better hurry up!
I'm... I'm confused.
I thought we had an understanding.
The therapists.
The doctors.
Everyone, even... even you, agreed that it's in
your best interest
not to be home yet.
I know.
There's too many triggers for you here.
That was months ago.
And, and, and your sponsor said...
Please, let... let Ben tell me, please.
Please, honey.
OK, I know...
I know I really fucked up last Christmas.
And the one before that.
It's true.
Yeah, I know I've made a lot of mistakes.
But...
Now, since I'm doing so good,
and... and with all the support I'm getting and...
w-with my sponsor?
I honestly didn't think I'd ever...
feel this good again.
What? You don't believe me?
Sweetie, we do.
Which is why she hid all the meds and the jewelry.
I was just removing the temptation.
Wow. Fuck. You're all still scared of me.
Which is the last thing I wanna make any of you feel.
You should just... you should take me back.
Mom, take me back.
Front door.
- Mom? - You should have known better.
Don't blame him.
It's my fault.
When he called and asked what I wanted for Christmas,
I shouldn't have said him home.
That's what you said?
I wanted him to know I missed him.
I didn't... I never dreamed he would just...
show up.
Is he in the car?
Yup.
It's not like he came home to stay.
Obviously, that can't happen right now.
It wouldn't be good for him.
He needs to go back.
I agree.
And if it weren't Christmas...
It's the right thing, honey.
It is, Mom.
We hope. We don't know.
I mean, honestly...
I'm so goddamn angry at the two of you right now.
I am.
What did I do?
You gave up on him.
You both have.
This is not giving up.
- It is. - It's... no, it... it's giving a shit,
which we do, about what's best for him.
And for you.
You have a problem with him, Neal.
No, I'm rooting for him, but I'm frustrated.
He's lucky, and we're...
- We're playing loose with it. - OK, Neal.
If he were black, he would be in jail by now.
Maybe this isn't the time.
We said we weren't going to do this again.
Remember?
I remember.
Holly?
Here's the list.
I don't care who gets what.
Just get it done.
Yeah.
God, damn it!
We're all set.
It's okay, Mom.
It's for the best.
Seat belt, please.
Mom.
Mom!
What?
I'm thinking.
All right. Come on.
OK.
Here's the deal, and it is not negotiable.
You get a day.
Are you sure?
So long as you pass the drug test I'm about to administer.
Stay clean while you're here,
and that this time tomorrow you are back in Sober Living.
Yeah, OK.
Now, I'm not done.
These are our terms,
and I don't give a shit if you hate these rules.
You do not leave my sight ever.
You do not close the door to your room,
where, by the way, I will be sleeping on the floor,
and if you try to sneak off,
if your bed so much as make squeak,
I will be all over you
because, for the next 24 hours, you are mine. All mine. Got it?
I got it.
Good.
Let's get you tested.
Mom.
Relax, I'm not going to be looking at your privates.
OK, then.
I will be keeping my eyes on you.
Just like I said.
This is so not cool.
Nothing about this is cool, Ben.
Come on, pee-pee time.
Shut up.
Do you want me to turn the faucet on?
Stop.
- Shh. - All right, all right, all right.
- Sometimes it helps. - Mm-hmm.
- What are you doing? - OK.
- There's a surprise coming. - What surprise?
Do you trust me?
- Yes! - Yes, I do.
Awesome. That's awesome.
Good. Good to hear.
All right.
- You close your eyes. - Yeah.
- Can you see anything? - No.
OK, no peaking.
I hear something.
- When I was your age, this was my favorite. - It's gross.
Ivy, chill out.
Liam doesn't like crust.
There's a crust-less option
in the works.
Oh, really?
Are you two ready?
Yes.
Back door.
OK, open your eyes and feast.
- Yum! - Right?
It's really good.
What have you done?
I know. I know. There's no going back.
Mm-hmm. More, please!
But Ashley's wings have glitter.
Well, we are going to bedazzle these things like crazy.
Mom, seriously, they're so good.
I don't want to brag.
Well, yeah, I do. These are gonna be good.
Ben?
Boy. Hey, buddy.
Hi Mama.
You knew it.
You came back for Ponce.
Busted.
Actually, no.
OK, let's party.
You know, I really wouldn't appreciate it if you leave me.
- Holly. - Hi.
How'd the test go?
- Negative. - That's great.
Yeah.
And he's helping out with chores.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
OK, well...
I left word with Sober Living.
OK.
It hurts to think about the shit I've done.
And what I'm learning in recovery is I can't undo
what I've done, but I can do it differently now.
I think we're good here.
One... just one sec, Ivy.
What I mean is, is I have to be present.
- It's about this log. - OK.
- It's about this log. It's... - That's enough.
It's about taking care of this log and placing it here.
And I have to take it one log at a time,
- No, stop. - otherwise it's not gonna...
Ben, stop!
Aah!
- God! - Come on. You got this.
Come on.
Fine. Just leave it. We don't need anymore, Ben.
Cleaning up your mess.
- We'll do it. We're gonna do it. - Aah!
- It's so heavy! - I got it. I got it.
- You're good. You're good. - Ponce!
Nice. OK.
We're in no danger of it burning out.
What the fuck is this? Where did our ornaments go?
They don't share the current aesthetic.
Is there a problem?
Ben was just asking where our old ornaments are.
Did you throw them away?
Come with me.
Be quick and be careful, yeah?
- Mommy! - Yes, yes. OK.
Do you see 'em?
It should be right there.
Ben?
Fuck!
Ben?
Can you come up?
- That's it. - I hate it up here.
OK, then let's go already.
Wait...
I need you to check.
I'm, uh...
I used to stash my... my, um...
OK.
Back there?
If there's something there, then you have to make it go away.
Nothing.
We're good.
I'll help you down.
Come on. Let's go.
Oh, wow. Ben.
Nice.
Liam, I have a pine cone nose.
This is better.
- Yeah. - Yeah, cotton balls.
Ben, Ivy, can you two come with me, please?
I know, I went a little overboard this year.
- Mom? - Keep wrapping.
Hello?
- Hey, honey. - Yeah?
They only have regular.
No.
Organic cranberries.
Mom, we don't have to be 100%...
It's important.
- Got it. - OK.
Thank you.
Ugh, gotta love that Neal.
Mom?
Running all my last-minute errands so we can just...
- stay here till church. - Mom. Mom, I wanna do some shopping of my own.
Why?
I wanna get them something from me.
Well, sweetie, you are the present.
Something that they can unwrap.
Well, OK. Let's just say these are from you, then.
But they're not really from me. I didn't pick them out.
They'll never know.
But I'll know.
All right. Well, honestly, they have everything they need.
They really don't need anything more.
So true.
OK, but...
if I didn't pick them out, then they're not really from me,
which makes me a liar.
And the whole point of this
is to be honest.
It's no good if I'm not honest.
This is nice.
Getting to spend a little quality alone time together.
What do you think you'll wear tonight?
This is all I brought.
Oh, well, no worries. We can pick up a sweater
or maybe even a whole new ensemble.
Ensemble?
That way you'll... I want you to be comfortable.
Oh, I'm okay with just...
No, come on.
It's Christmas Eve. We're gonna be in a front pew.
Hey, Burns!
What's going on?
- Hey, man. - Wow, it's been a long time.
I thought you were dead.
What's new?
- I'm... I'm good. - Yeah?
Dude, it's... it's really good to see you.
- Yeah. - And you look good.
Oh, thank you.
OK.
He was a little full of himself, don't you think?
He's all right.
And what's his drug of choice? You know he has one.
- Speed? Weekend cocaine? - Mom.
- High caffeinated energy drinks? - Mom.
All I'm saying is you forget how special you are.
You just don't... you don't...
Well, people look up to you, and they love you.
You're a natural leader, and you are so, so smart.
No, Mom, Ivy is smart.
Well, nobody wants to be that smart.
It's not like she's having a tremendous amount of fun, hmm?
What was my point?
You don't have a point.
I do have a point.
My point is, look, you lick this,
and who knows how far you can go
and what you can do.
There's so much to look forward to.
OK, honey, you've barely touched your breakfast.
You've got to eat this. Come on now.
Mrs. Crane.
Dr. Crane.
Oh, hello.
Do I know you?
Holly Burns.
Yes. Oh, yes.
He doesn't always remember.
Holly is the mother of Ivy, whose singing we love.
She was your patient.
I remember.
You must be so proud of her.
I am proud of all of my children, yes.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, look, I need to get a napkin. I...
I'll sit with him.
You're a dear.
Be right back.
So, if you remember Ivy, then you must remember my son, Ben.
Right over there.
Who?
- I don't remember him. - Hmm.
I understand. You had so many patients.
But when was 14, he had a small
snowboarding injury.
And you prescribed painkillers.
And when I asked, you told me they weren't addictive
and kept upping his dose, and he got hooked,
and it fucked up his life.
So, you can pretend you don't remember,
but I won't forget.
I hope you die a horrible death.
Merry Christmas.
I'm just here for a day.
OK. Yeah.
I will.
OK. Yes. I gotta go. I gotta go.
Who was that?
Um, my... my sponsor.
I'm feeling... I'm feeling shaky.
So, I... that's why I called him.
He told me to go to a meeting.
They all say that.
Whenever you feel shaky, get to a meeting.
OK, well, let's just get your clothes...
I gotta find a meeting. Now.
Did you hear me?
OK.
I'm so proud of you.
Knowing what you need.
I just, I think it's so great.
Like they say, it's working when you...
What do they say?
It works if you work it.
Well, you are working it.
Oh, let's go in.
You're not coming in.
No, why? Of course I am.
No, Mom, I-I'm... I'm good.
It's... it's a... it's a meeting.
I'm gonna come right out afterwards. No.
I may just tag along.
- Hi! - Mom.
- Hey, yo, what's up, baby? - Hello.
- How are you? - Hey, how you doing?
Stop.
Never hurts to be friendly.
Dial it down.
OK.
Maybe I'll just... Hi!
- Hi, guys. - Hello.
Everybody seems so nice.
The minute I think I have it,
the minute I think I've got this, uh...
it's waiting, you know?
It's out there, doing push-ups right now
while we're sitting in these folding chairs.
So, I'm really, really grateful to be here with all of you.
And I-I thank you for keeping me clean.
Thank you for letting me share.
So, uh...
Thank you.
Go on to show of hands?
I have a deep fear of using.
I have a deep fear of going back into those dark places.
This fellowship, this group of people,
is what keeps me alive.
You know, I have two new baby nieces,
and they're going to meet me for the first time.
I'm just so grateful that they'll never know me high.
They'll just know me as... as me.
Hi, I'm Ben, and I, um, I'm an addict.
Hey, Ben.
I got 77 days.
And, uh, that's my most ever.
So, I just want to get to 78...
right now.
Um, so, I, uh...
I called my sponsor and...
the thing about my sponsor is that he's a... he's a loud talker.
And, so, uh, I say, "Hey," and he goes,
"What's up?"
And I was like, "Well, I-I got big news.
I just bought presents that I actually picked out for someone."
And he was like, "Oh, well, you're feeling pretty good, huh?"
And I was like, "Yeah, you know, I actually feel like I'm being honest."
And, well, he said, "If you were honest, Ben,
you'd look in the mirror and say, I'm a great big phony."
So, I was like, "OK."
"Because Ben you're a fucking addict,
and you're the last person who should believe his own bullshit.
So, now get to a meeting."
So, here I am.
77 days clean.
Some things are better now.
Like I can actually take a shit.
Yeah, uh, even better than that,
I'm waking up more often than not with an erection.
Sorry, Mom.
And my... yeah, my mom's here.
Um...
I've put her through a lot, um...
This summer, she found me upside down on the stairs
with, um, a needle in my arm.
And, uh...
with my dog trying to keep me awake.
So...
The doctor said that if it weren't for my dog,
I... I would be dead.
Um, and my mom.
Without her, I wouldn't be here right now in this room.
Uh, the things that I've done to myself
and others.
Uh, so, I don't... Why am I still...
here?
There's gotta be a reason.
Maybe it's to...
come back and... and make this Christmas right
or maybe this is the biggest
fucking mistake of my life.
Um, anyways, here I am.
Still here.
So, thank you. Thank you for...
...grant us the serenity
to accept the things we cannot change,
the courage to change the things we can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Keep coming back. It works if you work it.
Ben?
- Ben. Good job, sweetie. - Thanks.
And you coming back was not a mistake.
Someone wiser than me, your sponsor, said you can do this.
OK. Yeah. That's right.
I think some people want to talk to you.
I'll just wait over here.
OK.
Hey, man. Thanks for your share.
It's been a long time, yo.
- Yeah. - That really hit home.
- Thanks, man. - Thank you.
Hey.
I-I loved what you said.
You were... you were very funny.
There's not enough funny around here.
Thanks.
- You're the mom? - Yes.
I am.
It's great you came with him.
Aw, I hope so.
No, my mom died before I ever got clean.
I would have given anything for her to see me get my shit together.
I'm sure.
It was honest.
And it was you saying it. Someone young and hot. Oh, shit.
- Oh, uh, it's... that's okay. - Oh, I'm blushing... I'm blushing now.
That makes me nervous.
- Is it your first meeting? - Uh, yeah.
- I'm, you know, new to it all, so... - Yeah?
Well, you should get a sponsor.
Um, it should be a woman.
It should be someone really tough, who will
you know, call you on your bullshit, and
it's all about, you know, rigorous honesty.
Oh, they're just talking program.
It's how we help each other.
OK.
So, nothing to worry about then.
Oh, I didn't say that.
You don't remember, do you?
You were my dealer.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, my. I'm sorry.
No, it's fine. I'm, uh...
I'm going to rehab the day after Christmas, so,
that's why I, um, I, you know, I related to
so much to what you were saying.
It was very inspiring, so...
I just want... I just want to get high just one last time.
That's normal.
I'm not going to, though.
Good. Don't.
Unless I could do it with you.
- Hey. - Hi.
- Have a good one. - Merry Christmas.
I think this one will work.
Or this.
And they have it in light blue.
And everybody looks good in light blue.
- Ben? - What?
Which?
Yes.
Good.
OK, light blue.
Looks like she's gonna have you try on the whole store.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
These will both complement your complexion as a gift
from your mother. You're welcome.
- Coat, please. - OK.
Nice. I'm good.
Come on.
Pockets.
This is humiliating.
Shh.
No, this is love.
All right. Free to go.
You didn't check my shoes.
That's not funny.
It was a joke, Mom.
Ben.
- Mom, it was a joke. - It's not funny.
Excuse me?
Can I get a key to this door, please?
Unlock the door, Ben. Right now.
Ben.
Open the door.
This is not funny.
Open this fucking door
right now.
Ben. God, damn it.
Open this fucking door.
What is going on?
What's going on?
Fuck. You stupid fuck.
Hey.
Where did you get this?
- I've been with you the whole time. - Excuse me.
The... the... the girl at the meeting.
The one that you're helping.
She was gonna use, now, so I took it from her.
Excuse me. I'm gonna have to
ask you two to leave.
She was gonna use. Now she can't.
Mom, the last time I didn't help someone they died.
Ma'am?
You think I'm an idiot.
- Can you please just exit the store? - Yes!
Fuck. Maybe she's a dealer.
- What? - Maybe she played me.
- You can't trust addicts, Mom. All we do is fucking lie. - What do I do with that?
I don't... I don't know. I don't know.
Mind your own fucking business.
Mom. What...?
Get out of the car.
What is this?
What're we doing here?
Get out of the car.
Now.
- Why are you... - Because I'll be too angry to do it at the time.
Huh? So, where?
Where do you wanna be?
Oh.
Don't say next to grandpa. That's prime placement.
And you don't get that when you OD.
- I'm not gonna OD. - So, where?
The new section is nice,
or do you want to be near a tree?
I don't know.
Well, you better figure it out.
OK, why... why don't you cremate me and sprinkle me over
Mrs. Blink, my second grade teacher? She was pretty hot.
- No, you don't get to be a smart ass about this, young man. - Ow!
I wasn't gonna use.
I was... I-I'm not gonna use.
- You just... - I'm just... Mom.
You just told me.
I should never believe you.
Don't say another fucking word.
Just tell me, son,
where you want me to bury you.
I'll wait all day.
I'm not going to die.
That's right. You will, and soon.
Mommy's here!
They didn't like my spaghetti special, for some reason.
Go figure.
Ben, they only wanted your sandwich.
What did you put in it?
Drugs.
It's not funny.
- It was a joke. - Still not funny.
The kids are watching TV?
Yeah, they're watching TV.
You OK?
You come with me.
Hi, sweethearts.
Hi, Mommy!
- Ben is gonna watch some TV with you. - Yay!
- Mom, can I talk to you for a second? - Sit down.
...out of a canon and now we can't find her anywhere.
Come on.
Right in the middle.
Stay.
Everyone grab on to me, and I'll swing on this tree branch
into the pond!
You fucking monster.
Honey, you OK in there?
Yes, just getting changed.
How'd it go? How's he... how's he doing?
Great. He's doing great.
How are you doing?
I am doing great.
OK.
Honey, I... I better get ready.
Of course.
You get ready. I will take care of the chores.
Thank you.
Would you just?
No. No, not those slacks.
The ones from when you were skinny.
Skinnier.
Ivy?
What?
I need your big safety pins. There's some in the kitchen.
- It sounded great, by the way. - Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
I'm feeding Ponce.
Oh, I'm so glad. Thanks, honey.
- Mom! - Yes, sweetie.
It itches.
- Where? - Everywhere!
I wish I'd known that earlier. Mommy can't do anything about it now.
But it's everywhere.
Well, it's just part of being a sheep.
Hey, buddy. The thing about an itch is just don't scratch.
- Um... - Shh. Ivy!
Thank you.
I beg your pardon.
I'm gonna need a sweater.
OK. Coming right up.
All right, everybody. Let's get going.
We don't want to be late.
I'm so sorry.
Don't.
Stay put.
I'm so sorry, Beth.
This has gotta hurt.
Maggie was an angel.
We think about her.
Hold on tight.
I am.
What'd she say?
No one blames you.
There were shepherds out in the field
keeping watch over their flock by night.
And an angel of the Lord appeared to them...
Ben. Hi, Ben!
shone around them, and they were filled with fear,
and the angel said to them, "Be not afraid.
I bring you good news of a great joy,
which will come to all the people.
For to you is born this day in the city
of David, a savior, who is Christ the Lord.
You will find a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes
and lying in a manger.
Hey!
Ivy, by the way, that was your best singing ever.
I think the two of you were great.
Yeah, they're completely right. You were amazing.
- Yeah, you were awesome! - Really amazing.
- Yes! - And you, little buddy.
- You think so? - Yes.
For a second there, I literally thought
that you were a sheep.
And, and, and you didn't even have to pretend
because you're an angel.
Front door.
All right, kiddos.
Jammies and teeth brushed right now, please.
- Start jammin'. - All right. Come on.
What happened?
Oh, my God.
- OK, kids. - Stay right here.
- Shh, sit down. Sit down. - Why?
- Don't move. - Sit down.
Sit down, sit down right here.
- Mom. - Sit down.
It's okay. It's okay, honey.
There's broken glass.
- Don't be scared. Daddy's just checking... - Ben.
Be careful.
Come on. Fuck. Come on.
This can't be happening. Not again.
Stay right here. Don't move. It's okay. I know. Don't move.
- I'm scared. - It's okay. It's okay.
Come on, motherfucker.
What?
I was at church.
Coast is clear.
We still got the TV,
and we got the computers,
and, most importantly, we got the presents.
Yeah, it was probably just neighborhood kids.
Just a practical joke.
Neal?
No, no real damage.
That's a relief.
Where's Ponce?
I don't know.
I'm sure he's here somewhere.
- Mom? Where's Ponce? - You just checked the whole house.
- Yeah. - He's probably just hiding.
You didn't see him?
- No. - I wanna find Ponce.
- You know what? It's way past our bed time. - Ponce!
- Shh, upstairs. - But mo-o-om.
Ponce!
- I wanna find Ponce. - No, shh, upstairs.
Fuck.
Ponce!
Come on, Poncey!
I bet he just...
you know, went out exploring.
No, he didn't.
Sweetie, he is just having a Christmas adventure.
All right?
Come on, boy!
Ponce!
OK, snuggled in.
Front door.
I can't find him anywhere.
And he'd never run off.
Someone took him.
Who would steal our dog?
You come back, and then this happens?
This is on you.
Front door.
Tomorrow, when you wake up,
it's gonna be Christmas.
With presents and Ponce.
All right. I love you.
Try to sleep, and I'll be right back, OK?
Love you.
Leave the light on.
Of course I will.
What are you doing?
You aren't calling the cops, are you?
I am.
No, Neal. No cops. Not yet.
Where is he?
Why wasn't the alarm on?
Because Ben was with us.
He's the reason we got the alarm in the first place.
Where is he?
He left.
Go.
Holly.
Holly?
Left door.
Jesus. Ben!
Ben!
Every fucking thing I do turns to shit.
- No, honey... - No, no matter how
hard I try, everything just turns to shit.
Please, just get in the car.
I didn't do it.
Obviously.
But I'm... I'm the reason that somebody did.
I put you in danger.
I put my... I put my family in danger.
And...
And I should've known. I'm so stupid.
No, you're not. Please, get in the car.
Jesus. Where are you going?
Ben!
Will you stop?
I have to fix it. I have to fix it.
I gotta find Ponce.
OK, well, just think.
I am. God, damn it.
What?
H-How?
You don't understand.
There are so many people that it could be.
All right, well, we'll just take it one asshole at a time.
Well, get in the car.
Seat belt.
No, don't turn here. Don't turn on Elm.
Not Pleasant.
All right. Just tell me where to turn.
Tell me where.
- Fuck! - What?
I've... I've used there.
I robbed someone there. I...
This place?
- Yeah. - What's here?
You cannot ask, Mom.
If we're...
If we're doing this together,
you cannot ask.
OK, I won't ask.
I'll just... OK.
No. No, Mom.
But I'm not letting you out of my sight.
You won't have to. Just stay here.
Well.
It's about time.
Come in.
Did you take... did you take my dog?
No luck.
Who was that?
Mom, we had a deal.
Let's go.
- I recognize him. - Mom.
I know I know him.
God, he looks so familiar.
Mr. Richman.
Your history teacher?
Yeah.
His mother had cancer.
Hospice.
He had lots of oxy. Jars full, and endless supply.
We had an arrangement.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, that piece of shit.
Mom, we gotta keep going.
I think it's...
What's here?
Maggie's dad lives in one of these.
Why would he take Ponce?
Who hates me more?
It's one of these.
That's him.
No Ponce.
Heartbreaking, that.
Sometimes it catches.
- Why don't you let me try? - I got it.
Just... you're being too herky-jerky with it.
I'm not being herky-jerky.
Sweetie, I'm not criticizing you.
I'm just saying.
- Mom, I know how to... - I don't... apparently not this exact seatbelt
- you know how to put on. - Holy...!
- Shit! - Oh, my God!
What the fuck are you doing here?
You fucking junkie piece of shit!
Get the fuck out!
Oh, the fuck?!
We are going to have to talk about this.
I mean, I get to ask questions.
I get...
I'm gonna have to explain the window to Neal.
He tried to bash in my head, and he should.
Don't say that.
If you were him, you'd want me dead
for what I did.
All right, well, then you're going to have to help me here.
What did you do?
Who are we looking for?
You'll know when I know.
Thank you.
I got Maggie hooked.
I told her how great it was.
Did you tie her down and stick a needle in her arm?
- No, but... - And, at that time,
didn't you think it was the best thing ever?
Then, you told her the truth.
At that time, that was your truth.
But it was wrong.
Didn't you just want her to be happy?
This... this is so twisted.
Well, what did you want her to feel?
Do you hear yourself right now?
What did you want her to feel?
Safe.
Loved.
Alive. Whole.
Something that nobody...
not even you could ever...
make me feel.
OK.
You know what you did wrong.
You lived, and she didn't.
And we'll never know why.
It should've been me.
No.
You ready to order?
Um, yes, I will have you soup of the day
and a combo, please.
Hi, honey, I was about to call you.
I'm going out of my mind. Where are you?
Um, I'm... I'm with Ben.
It took me a while to find find him, but I did, and, uh,
We're just getting a bite.
- Daddy. - We're supposed to be a united front.
We are. You just have to trust me.
Well, you're making that very hard.
You need to come home.
Not without Ponce.
Those kids are waking up with their dog.
And there's no need for cops because
we've got this, Ben and I.
Don't we, Ben?
You've got this.
- You and the drug addict. You got this. - Daddy?
Please...
Baby.
Here's an ideal, Neal.
Why don't you take care of our kids?
And I'll deal with mine.
Hm?
I'm going to bed.
Neal.
What?
He's a bit of a dick.
Wow.
Weren't you just complaining?
No, I can think or say about him
whatever I want because he is my husband,
and I love him, but you...
God, you clearly don't get it.
You're here,
and without Neal, you wouldn't be.
Mm, don't be so sure.
How many rehabs is it now?
I couldn't've paid for it.
Insurance won't anymore.
The government doesn't give a fuck.
And, heaven help you if you're poor,
which, because of Neal, we aren't anymore.
He took out a second mortgage on the house to pay for you this time.
The only thing you should say about Neal is thank you.
No way, man.
Go!
- Relax. - No, I'm not relaxing. Go.
I said get out.
What is it?
Oh, shit.
What's going on?
Who'd you tell?
About what?
- That I'm back. - Everyone knows you're back.
'Cause of you.
Where's my dog?
Who took my dog?
Oh, so you can steal other people's shit all you want?
But someone steals yours you get all holy?
OK, was it Tommy?
No.
Was it Bumgarner?
Jail.
Was it Clayton?
Who's that?
My mom.
Oh, oh, hey, Mrs. B.
Long time.
Spencer?
I... I go by Spider now, Mrs. B.
Feels more like me.
You look terrible.
You always say it like it is, Mrs. B.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry, Mrs. B.
Oh, God, that little shit.
It's okay.
Let me just help.
- It's not helping. - OK.
I know who has Ponce.
- Well, that's great. That's something. - No, no.
It's the person I hoped it wouldn't be.
It's gonna take more.
That's my daily limit.
I can write a check, but...
these aren't check people, are they?
No.
Take this.
It's worth a lot.
It's just a thing.
I'm sorry.
I never liked it.
Turn your lights off.
All right. Let's... You know what?
Let's just... let's just turn right around
because Ponce was a rescue, and we had a good run.
You did not just say that.
Yes, I did. Ponce is just a dog.
I love five people, and Ponce is two of them.
OK, well, he is a pee in the house,
crap on the carpet dog,
and you are so much more.
Fuck, what are we doing? This is madness.
No. No, this is manageable.
It's Clayton. We go way back.
I'll pay up,
and maybe we'll have a good laugh.
You don't believe that.
If I don't deal with this,
then it could be worse next time for you and the family.
OK, you go in, pay the man,
get Ponce, and get right back out.
You're coming out.
Yeah, I'm coming out.
Be careful.
Lock the door.
Just be calm.
I can't be calm.
I'll just go in.
Mom.
Mom, what are you doing?
Oh, my God.
Get over here.
What happened? Where's Ponce?
All right, I got in, and I got out.
And that's the good news.
What's the bad?
I just need you to drive, OK?
Let me do the thinking.
OK.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, my God.
Easy. Easy, Mom.
You're trying too hard.
OK, of course I am.
It's what I do.
Stop. Stop, you're flooding the engine.
You've gotta give it a rest.
Oh, sorry.
Clayton doesn't deal out of here anymore.
He's gone up the chain, and he's not happy with me.
Oh, my God.
But I got a plan, so I need you to listen to me.
I can't help but think if I hadn't left your dad...
He left us, so just please listen to me.
You took it so hard you blamed yourself.
OK, just stop.
It was something that... it changed you.
Just move... move over.
A boy needs a dad.
Mom.
No, it... that's what you needed.
Not that dad.
Fuck, we need gas.
You tried so hard to keep me happy.
And what kid wouldn't crack under the weight of that.
Mom.
What?
What is it?
You need to go home.
Not without you.
You cannot go where I'm going.
It's not safe.
Then I'm definitely going.
No. No.
Go home.
I'll be there soon.
No, I don't believe you.
OK, so now you don't believe me.
No, I don't.
Mom, you don't know what you're doing.
- I do. - You don't know what you're doing.
I'm not worth it.
If you really knew me, you'd be done with me.
No, honey, I wouldn't.
- And I know you... - No.
- I know you. - You don't, Mom. You don't know me.
You don't.
My sponsor told me not to come back.
He said it was a shit idea.
That I was not ready.
That's not true.
Yes, it is. It is true.
And I didn't get the drugs from the girl.
They were in the attic
above Liam and Lacey's room.
And within an hour of coming home,
they were in my pocket.
I told you not to believe me,
and you didn't fucking listen.
Do you... I mean, I could... I could... I could go on.
Do you want me to go on?
There's so much more.
I killed Maggie.
- It's not working. - I killed Maggie!
It's not working.
Please, go home!
You have to go home, please.
Please. I'm not worth it, please.
Please, go home.
I will not leave you.
Get whatever you want.
Oh, and I know you are not open,
so you have a Merry Christmas!
You, too.
Can you get me that blue drink I really like?
Yeah.
Mom, you're the best.
So, its just these two and one more.
Honey, which one is it?
Because there is more than one choice.
Ben?
Hey, it's Ben. You know what to do.
No. No, I don't, Ben. I don't know what to do.
Get fucking back here right now.
No!
I'm sorry.
I... I... I didn't know where else to go.
He took my car.
And he's gone somewhere and I don't know what to do.
Come... come in.
I can't tell my husband. He'll call the cops.
Someone took our dog,
and Ben's just out trying to find our dog.
Come on, Holly.
He's an addict.
And he's out there.
Stay put.
Holly, you'll need to listen closely.
He has a shelf-life of 18 to 24 months,
and it's been over two years, but...
It should be strong enough if it's the only kit available.
I'm such a smug bitch.
I'd never thought I'd need this.
First you pull off the yellow caps.
You screw in the applicator tip.
You take off this cap,
and insert it here.
Half a dose in each nostril.
I c... I can't. I don't know what I'm doing.
I'd... If you couldn't save Maggie...
We can't save them.
But you'll hate yourself if you don't try.
Go find him.
Now's starting to feel like Christmas.
Here.
This is my mom's.
And it's worth a lot.
I'm good for the rest, and I'll make it right.
Yeah, well...
It's not just about the money, Burns.
I mean, I had big plans for you. You were my guy.
I know.
Look, just give me my dog back,
and leave my family out of this because
they didn't do anything.
I wish it were that easy.
It can be.
Fuck it. It's Christmas, right?
All right. Come on.
Take this.
All I need is for you to do me just one more little favor.
What's that?
Merry Christmas. How can I help you?
So, I have this, and it's expired. I need it replaced.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Ma'am.
We don't carry this.
What do you mean you don't carry it?
You need to try another pharmacy.
No, you're the only one open.
What do you mean you don't carry it?
It's our policy not to encourage irresponsible behavior.
All right, well, then why don't you discontinue the oxys,
the perk 30s, and the... the... the benzo cheerios
or whatever you call them.
If you'd like to file a complaint, there is a...
I'm fucking filing one!
God, fucking damn it.
Yo. Yo, yo, yo.
Spare some change?
Mrs. B. Mrs. B, I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm not gonna hurt you.
I'm not gonna hurt you. I-I-I'm t-too sick.
Spencer.
Get in the car.
Where is he?
I'm sorry, Mrs. B. I-I-I'm not...
I'm not doing my best thinking.
I need... I need to get well.
You mean get high.
Fuck, there's no high anymore.
I just don't want... I just don't wanna be sick.
Help me. H-Help me.
I just... I just... I just need a little... a little money.
OK, I will help you, but you have to help me.
Where can I find him?
He used to run for Clayton.
You don't... you don't leave Clayton.
That's where Ben went.
Shit.
- I j... I just snitched. - No, I-I-I...
I need more. Tell me everything you know.
I can't.
You can.
- Where is he? - OK.
Go to the pawn shop across the bridge.
It's in Yonkers. Ask around.
And that's all I could... I could tell you Mrs. B.
Anything else, and they'll kill me.
OK?
You said you'd help me get well.
Your mother and I were friends
when you and Ben were babies.
I changed your diaper.
This is so fucked.
Yeah, Mrs. B. It is.
Call you mother, and tell her that you're not dead.
Honey, are you OK?
Just... Just tell me you're OK.
You need to be calm.
I'm calm. Are you OK?
Yup, we are on it.
Just totally safe,
and closing in.
OK. OK.
Is that my mom?
Where are you? Because I'm coming to get you.
No, Neal.
- Is that my mom? - OK. Yes, it is.
Can I please talk to her?
Yes, you may. Hold on one second.
Mommy?
You need to be in bed.
Ben and I have this this under control,
and we will see you in the morning.
Why are you lying?
I'm not.
Mom, I'm the one who set up the phones for everybody.
You're not with Ben.
Ben is in a whole other town.
And I've been calling you and texting you
and you won't pick up.
And I didn't tell Neal because he'll call the cops,
but now I'm freaking out because you lied to me.
We split up to cover more ground.
I don't believe you.
Ivy?
What am I... what am I supposed to do?
All right, sweetheart.
You need to be calm and hang up.
Deal with Neal.
Call me back as soon as you can
from your own phone.
All right?
Yeah?
Ivy?
OK.
Hi, honey.
Hi, Mom.
OK, I want you to help me find your brother, yeah?
Keep going, and, um, if you turn left on Millwood.
Keep going straight...
and turn right on 23rd street.
Do you see that?
This is 23rd street, right? OK.
OK, and, um...
just keep going straight for a bit.
You're doing great, Ivy.
You're getting really close.
OK, turn before the intersection.
Mom, turn now.
You're really close. Do you see him?
Mom?
He should be right there.
I'm gonna call his phone.
OK, good idea.
OK, it's ringing.
Do you hear it?
I'll call you right back.
Don't hang up.
No. Mom?
I got him.
OK, God.
So, so, so, we're good, sweetie.
Can I just talk to him really quick?
We gotta keep moving.
We're going to be home so soon with Ponce.
Let me talk to Ben.
No, we gotta keep moving, honey.
No, Mom.
Sweetie, listen, I just... I need you to go to sleep.
I can tell there's something wrong.
Everything's going to be OK. Just trust me.
Mom.
OK, sweetie.
OK, I'll see you.
Excuse me.
I'm looking for my son.
His name is Ben. I know he was just here.
Over by the river.
That's where they all end up.
Hey! Get up!
Ben?
Ben.
Mmm, you did good.
Hey, he did good, right?
You made a lot of people happy today.
For all your hard work.
Just give me my dog, man.
Holly.
Holly?
I lost him.
What?
I didn't want to tell you I've been...
lying to you.
I've looked everywhere, and I-I-I can't find him.
But I tried.
I know you did.
I lost him a long time ago. I just...
I don't know where to look, and I'm so tired.
And I don't know what to do.
Tell me where you are. I'm coming to get you.
And we'll find him together.
No, I'm co... I'm coming home.
I'm just gonna come home.
Hey, boy. Hey, boy.
Anything else?
Here, bud.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. I'm sorry. I need help, please.
Ma'am, need to wait your turn.
No, I can't... I can't wait my turn because my son, who's... he's not a bad kid.
No, no, no, no, I can't. There's not time for that right now.
He stole my car.
Please.
Excuse me, sir.
Ma'am, hold on a second.
- Can you find...? - Hello. Hold on one second.
Ma'am, standing there
- won't help you... - I just need you to
please find my son and arrest him!
I'm begging you!
[Ponce barking
If you just wanna calm down and have a seat, I'll start the form.
Thank you. I'm sorry.
Hello?
Good boy. Good boy.
Oh, my God.
Honey?
Wake up, Ben.
Wake up, honey.
Come on.
OK.
All right.
We've got this. OK.
All right.
Come on.
Come on. Hang in there.
Come back to me.
Come on.
Fuck.
Just stay with me.
OK. OK.
OK. Ready?
OK.
Wake up.
Please.
Please. Please, come back.
Come back. Please, come back.
Please.
Oh, my boy. Please.
Please. I know you can do this.
Ben.
My boy. Please.
Subtitles by explosiveskull Sync by GoldenBeard